Crazy Faith.

Faith. 

Trust. 

Growing up in church those are two words I've heard over and over. And when you hear something that many times it becomes so common you don't even have to think about what it means. 

I have faith in God. I trust Him. And I really, truly believe that when I say it. 

But over the past few months I've been challenged to discover what those words actually mean. Not just as a thought. But as an action.

..........

As I read Crazy Love this summer, I began to realize just how comfortable I am in my daily life. I rarely do things that take me outside my comfort zone. I don't really take risks. And If I'm completely honest, I hardly ever do anything out of pure faith.

I began to wonder and I asked myself, how often do I step out in complete and total faith?

No "back up plan" just in case God doesn't come through.

The answer to that was one I really didn't want to admit to myself. And then I caught a glimpse of just how terrifying/crazy faith really is.

"We say things like, 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,' and 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart.' Then we live and plan like we don't believe God even exists. We try to set our lives up so everything will be fine even if God doesn't come through. But true faith means holding nothing back. It means putting every hope in God's fidelity to His promises."

And then even as I was being convicted by this, I was struck by an even scarier thought. That being convicted or challenged means nothing if change doesn't happen. Faith without action is literally dead. (James 2:17) It does absolutely no good if we are merely hearers of the Word and not doers. (James 1:22) As Francis Chan writes, when people make changes in their lives..."it carries greater impact than when they merely make impassioned declarations. The world needs Christians who don't tolerate the complacency of their own lives." 

It's so much easier to just make "impassioned declarations". We acknowledge the truth of how we should live. Without any effort we can say things like, "Wow, that's convicting. That's how I need to be living." But unless we honestly examine our hearts and truly repent and change, that talk means nothing. Your life should actually look different.

"Repentance is the sign of true belief. . . . Repent. Change. No one who is yielded to the Holy Spirit can remain the same."

This faith is a scary thing. But it is the very thing we are called to do. To trust in Him and in His promises. 

And this kind of faith also means obedience. Without reservation. 

"We must know that God has called us each to live faithful and devoted lives before Him, by the power of His Spirit, and that we need to live out in our daily lives the love and obedience that God has asked of us."

"Jesus said, 'If you love me, you will obey what I command' (John 14:15). Jesus did not say, 'If you love me you will obey me when you feel called or good about doing so. . . .' If we love, then we obey. Period. This sort of matter-of-fact obedience is part of what it means to live a life of faith."

I'm not called to live a comfortable life. In fact, choosing to follow Him requires the exact opposite.

"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." Matthew 16:25

..........

Do I trust Him enough to live by faith? No back up plan? No plan B? Just straight up faith.

As I have been challenged, I hope this also challenges you. Not just to say, "That was really convicting." But that change would be activated in your life. In our lives. That by the grace of God we would learn what it looks like to fully trust Him. And that we would courageously step out in crazy faith.

"Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." Deuteronomy 7:9

"Your faith in His faithfulness will give you the strength to endure whatever is necessary."

If you haven't read this book before, or it's been a while and, like me, sometimes you just need that reminder to bring you back to the truth, I encourage you to read Crazy Love. 

Crazy Love is a challenge. A challenge to Christians not to become comfortable with lukewarm Christianity. But to examine their hearts and consider what it truly means to follow Christ. 

And If you allow it to, it will change you. 

By His grace, He will change you.

..........

 "How we live our days is . . . how we live our lives." 

Annie Dillard

Alive.

I turned on my phone and tapped on my notes app. I opened a new page and began to type this five letter word.

Alone.

I was feeling so overwhelmed by loneliness and as usually happens when I become overcome by emotion, I write. It's how I clear my head, process my thoughts. It's how I best express my heart.

But as I began to type, instead of "alone" my phone auto-corrected to a different five letter word.

Alive.

I began to delete my mistake, but something stopped me. I had a moment and as simple as it is, I realized…..I'm alive. And there is One responsible for this.

It's not a small thing. It's not an accident. 

Where I had previously felt overwhelmed by a darkness and a feeling of loneliness, I was now overcome with a different emotion.

Tears came to me as I remembered the journey that's brought me to this place. I was reminded of the simple fact that I am alive.

I was reminded of God's goodness and His grace in my life. His unconditional love and forgiveness.

I was feeling so hopeless, so alone, and Jesus took that moment to remind me of all this. To remind me that I am alive.

Here for a reason. Created for a purpose.

He is stronger and more powerful than any darkness or any emotion.

He is greater than my loneliness. And He turns my darkness into light.

He is the reason I am alive and I am far from alone.